|
Tuesday, July 2, 2002 |
Chicago Chronicle
Mark Henderson Banned From IFL For Detrimental Behavior
Gold Coast - Improviser Mark Henderson was banned for the season by Commissioner Decatur Hilltop Griggs Tuesday. Unlike Mr. Henderson's two game suspension from league play last season, this ban will prevent him from league all season. Mr. Henderson was a top draft pick for the Roscoe Village franchise. Miles Stroth has been picked up by Roscoe Village GM's Charna Halpern and Dayna LaRosa to fill the vacant roster spot.
Piss and Vinegar Filled Improviser Mark Henderson
 IFL Commissioner Decatur Hilltop Griggs is not a fan of golden showers. |
Pee and Lobster Bisque
A specific event led to Mr. Henderson's ban. On Monday, Decatur Hilltop Griggs was dining at the Chicago Athletic Club with Bud Selig, David Stern, Gary Bettman, Paul Tagliabue, and Dustin Diamond. As these power-brokers and former child stars were eating, Mr. Henderson snuck up behind and urinated on Decatur Hilltop Griggs as he was enjoying a delicious lobster bisque. Luckily Decatur Hilltop Griggs was wearing a bullet proof jacket as well as a urine proof jacket due to the many different urination episodes that have occurred in Griggs's tumultous tenure as Commissioner. Mr. Henderson was escorted out of the building while yelling profanities about a collective bargaining agreement. The other six gentleman returned to their meals and made several comments about the deliciousness of the bisque. |
|
This Week's Betette-ism
|
